How to Handle Getting Hit on at a Bar

Posted in Lifestyle, Relationships by

getting hit on


Ah the legal drinking age, where for some people means “more people I can casually hit on in public”.  The one liners usually start when I approach the bar with credit card in hand waiting for the bar tender to notice me. It’s that moment when I hear the: “Interesting drink choice”, “What a stereotypical white-girl drink”, or, my favorite, “You want a shot?”.

Not to sound conceded in any way, but this happens on a regular basis when Belle and I go out. This is mostly because we look like a power couple- a blonde and brunette. She’ll deny it, but the majority of the time we get free things, it’s because of her (the power of blonde hair). As flattering as it is to be offered a drink, sometimes it’s uncomfortable. So, if you’ve found yourself in the position where someone is swooping in and breathing their whisky-on-the-rocks-breath in your face, you’re not alone.

Here are some simple ways I’ve handled being hit on in a bar:

Being Smart

A stranger just offered to buy me a drink, so I need to be smart about accepting it. Sometimes I’ll say no if I’ve already had enough to drink or I’m just really not interested. In the case I do accept, I make sure I get it directly from the bartender and watch them make it to avoid the chance or getting drugged. There are already a couple of things out there that can detect drugs in drinks (coasters, straws, cups). However, these are not out or very popular yet. There is a nail polish you can wear (even if it’s just on one nail) that can detect common date rape drugs. Although it’s not available to the public yet, you can keep up with it’s status by visiting Under Cover Colors website.



If a stranger is offering to buy me a drink, I say “thank you”, regardless of their reasoning for buying it. I’m plenty grateful, they just saved me ten bucks. I’ll usually converse with them for a while, however if I’m really not feelin’ it, I’ll say so and peace out.



I never know when a connection will spark unless I engage with the other person. I may not be physically attracted to the person offering me a drink, but they could have an interesting story. Honestly, half the time someone is offering a drink, it’s just to talk. There’s so many stereotypes people think about while out, but I try not to jump to conclusions. If I am absolutely not into it, I won’t accept a drink.

Drinking in a bar

Photo Credit Michael Discenza



If I am interested in this stranger who has offered me a drink, I take action: flirt back, give them my number. However, if I’m really not feeling it, I just say so. I know myself, and if I know this won’t go anywhere, I tell them that and excuse myself.  If I’m in a relationship, that’s also important to mention. I say this while I accept the drink (because free is free): “I am in a committed relationship, but I’d be happy to accept this drink and get to know you. What’s your name?” People appreciate honesty and being upfront rather than realizing later I’ve just been using them for a free drink. It’s okay to accept, as long as I don’t lead that person on.


Share A Drink

 If this stranger brings up a topic that seems insensitive or annoying, I let them know I’m getting uncomfortable. If they proceed to push the conversation further, I always remember that they did buy the drink… It’s only right to give it back. Some options worth considering:  I either hand the drink  back, stating that I’m not interested (honesty) or I set the glass down on the closest bar or table, and if all else fails or I’m in the appropriate setting, I can choose to dump it on their hot-head. If they are going to be pushy and persistent after I’ve already said no, that calls for a different tactic to get my point across.  

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