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11 Messages You’ll Get on Plenty of Fish

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Yes, it’s that time again, where I’ve reactivated or downloaded a new dating app. I read an article about online dating saying that you’re doing it wrong unless you’re on multiple sites. Therefore, I’ve upped my game by downloading two more apps on my phone. Call me crazy for trusting some random person’s advice on the internet, but hey, I have dating apps, you should already know I’m (partially) desperate.

I’ve tried online dating in the past, my first actually being Tinder when I was in college. Since then, I’ve used Plenty of Fish, as well as tried Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble. I tried using a few others, but I’m too cheap to pay a monthly fee.

For your amusement, or perhaps caution, here are the 11 types of conversations I’ve had through my go-to dating app, Plenty of Fish:



Wow, that’s it? Not even going to ask how my day is or tell me you think I’m a person you’d like to get to know? There is literally nothing in this statement that tells me anything about you. What it does tell me is: “I’m too lazy to think of anything else to say”, “I’ve already put in the effort into another conversation”, “I’m boring as hell”. I hardly ever respond to these unless the guy is extremely attractive (yeah sounds snobby, but it’s online dating, you have the freedom to pick and choose what you want).


A Loss for Words

I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve gotten where it’s gone something like, “I don’t know what to say, but I think you’re cute and would you like to talk”. Clearly you know what to say, just take out that first part! I’ve had my moments where I’ve had the same intro “hey, I don’t know what the f*** I’m supposed to say, but here’s a dad joke, I hope you laugh. P.S. I like your dog, what type is it?” The difference with mine is that I’m actually leading into conversation. I get how awkward it is to start a conversation, but it’s also a big piece of how I judge the kind of person you are. Like how do I even reply to this? “Thanks” (??) and then what?…

Related Reading: How to Handle Getting Hit on at a Bar

A Beggar

It’s admirable for those who actually want to know about me, but I cannot tell you how many terrible conversation starters I have created. “Yeah I hate one night stands too”, “I want the same things you do”, “I’m a genuine person giving this a genuine go”.  At the same time, it just sounds like he is more desperate than me. Don’t tell me what you are, just be it! One time, I set my bio to “I’m impressed you read this far down” and I swear the messages came in like fleas: “Are you impressed?”, “Hey I can read”, “Give me a gold star for reading your profile”…. I have no one to blame but myself.


The Persistent 

Sometimes I wish there were “read receipts” on these messages. I felt bad for not responding, and not to sound conceited in any way, but I get a lot of messages! I’ll respond to the ones I’m interested in, which means the ones I don’t respond to result in either this, or having a guy throw a fit. I know it kinda makes me look like a brat, but it’s online dating. We’re both already judging each other by looks first, sorry if I don’t like yours.


A True Gentleman

Clearly I dodged a bullet by not responding…. I understand why he was upset, but that’s not fair for him to judge me solely off of that. If he had responded with “hey I’d really like the chance to get to know you, please give me a chance to get to know you” maybe things could’ve been different. But don’t accuse me of not being interested in a “true gentleman” who “respects” me. Sorry, but calling me conceited or mocking me doesn’t exactly make me feel respected… And yes, I do know I spelled “conceited” wrong, I was too fired up to care. This is exactly why this site is called Plenty of Fish…. *flush* moving on.

Related Reading: Dating 101: 7 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

 The Defeated

Yeah, I realized I used the same message (which resulted in same spelling for “conceited”), but it was the nicest way I could say I wasn’t interested, but thanks anyway. This guy just wanted a response, although  his frustration is clear to me (I’ve had my fair share of no replies, too). I actually received the message above and the one before that (the butt-hurt) in the same DAY. What are the odds of two guys asking why I won’t give this (a.k.a them) an actual chance in the same day? Greater than someone actually asking me out to dinner, sadly.


A Sugar Daddy

Uhhhhhh, yeah you tell me how you would’ve responded to that. Either this guy was making a hilarious joke or a American Psycho offer… I’m okay with never knowing which.


The Grey Zone

You know they make sites for people like you right? Yeah I watch 50 Shades of Grey, doesn’t mean I want to live it! Next!


Just WTF

Spoke too soon… Really?! First I get a Dom request now a Submissive? I’m out.


Prince Charming

This is the best part about this site. The odds are pretty decent for meeting someone I may be interested in! These guys are the ones I want to plan something with and that I give my number to. I only do this if I can see myself going out on a date with them in the first place. Like having things to talk about, clicking. There may be a lot of interesting guys on dating sites, but there will always be good guys that make me remember why I have it in the first place.

Related Reading: The Things He Said

Plenty of Fish: worth your time?

I’ll say this for any sort of online dating: it’s worth it to try. There are so many people out there and if you’re like me, you don’t meet new people everyday. Online dating is something that can help you do just that. And hey, at the very least, you’ll have some interesting stories to tell your girlfriends later!

January 25, 2018

Dating 101: 7 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

Posted in Lifestyle, Relationships by

Don't ignore


Dating is fun, it’s exciting, and if you’re a girl, it’s really nice on your wallet. But what happens when you start to notice certain traits that could cause issues later? Or things friends or family mention they are noticing that are worrisome? I know myself best, my family and friends know me well and this person I’m dating is just getting to know me. So when I start to hesitate, or friends and family are bringing negative things up about this new person, I know I shouldn’t ignore them.


Here are 7 red flags I’ve faced:


He won’t spend the night

We all have busy lives, but if my date decides getting up a little earlier to head home in the morning is more of a hassle then throwing his pants on and leaving right after sleeping together, it’s been a casual encounter. This shows lack of interest in investing their time into developing a relationship with me. Spending the night after sleeping together says more than the sex did. It means they still want to spend time with me afterwards, and weren’t just looking for a good time. 


Not communicating after spending the night

As petty as this may seem, this is the biggest issue I run into. I usually send out a text a day or two after that to try and plan another get together, and although he may say he’s game for that, the ball is in his court. If there’s no response with a plan to meet up again, it’s safe to say I’ve been duped. A person who doesn’t put in the effort now, won’t put it in later.


Always making the plans

I’ve had guys who have driven 40 minutes to 2 days to come and take me on a date. I always thought it was fair of me to choose where we went, since I was familiar with the area. After doing this nearly every time though, that gets boring and it’d be nice for that other person to take initiative with what we do. If I’m constantly making the plans  and getting that iconic answer of “I don’t care”, well guess what? I just stopped caring too. I’m doing all the work without it being reciprocated, I can only imagine what a relationship would be like.


Not offering to pay the bill

If my date asks me if I want to split the bill, my first instinct is to think of this as not a date. Call it selfish or rude, but if you ask me out, I expect to be taken care of. You wanted me here, you showed and interest and now I want you to be polite. However, on almost every first date I’ve been on, I’ve always offered to at least split the bill. Sometimes I’ll offer to tip, not because it’s polite, but because I want to. You still took the time to take me out and drive to meet me, and although I do expect my date to pick up the check, I will always offer to contribute.


No apologizies

Dating someone who won’t take responsibility for even the smallest mistake tells me a lot about their character. If it’s apparent that I’m upset, or bothered by something they did, that should be addressed sincerely. This means I need to communicate and say what is bothering me of course, but if the response is “I’m sorry I upset you” vs. “I’m sorry you’re upset about this”, I see that as them either accepting or not taking responsibility that they made me upset. If issues are addressed and still not resolved or give me an uneasy feeling, I don’t ignore it. Either there is something deeper that isn’t being addressed, or my feelings aren’t being acknowledged. 



I don’t mean telling a little white lie, it’s natural for someone to tell you you look nice even though that shirt may be unflattering. I mean the big lies, the kind that can alter a future relationship: “I didn’t get your text”, “I was busy with *insert BS excuse here*”, “I’m just not in a good place right now”. If he gets defensive about the topic, there is something else going on, even if the story is consistent. I always trust my gut; if they can’t explain something with a cool head, it’s probably a bigger deal than I think.


Jumping into a relationship

The first date went great, he spent the night and we’re cuddling and everything is good. Then comes the “I think that went well, does this mean I can call you my boy/girlfriend?”. There’s a lot more to dating a person than what we’ll learn in one or two dates. When I was asked this, I was surprised and said no. If we’re going to be official, it should have everything exclusively- honesty, loyalty, arguments, dinners, flowers, etc. If he’s already this eager to start a relationship, just think how fast the rest will come: moving in together, marriage, kids… It’s okay to take things slow, better even. 



There are probably more red flags that you’ll identify in your gut that I haven’t mentioned here. Don’t ignore that gut feeling, listen to your friends and don’t let the flags pile up.

October 17, 2017