The Things He Said

Posted in Lifestyle, Relationships by

what he said

 

I’ve been in the dating game for far too long. So far, I’ve had two “real” relationships that went beyond the dating realms: commitment, ‘I love you’s, meeting the family etc. That’s not to say my dating life has been complete failure; I was close to that relationship status with a couple of guys. But there was always something that wasn’t right, something off that my gut knew better than my head. Looking back, it seems clear why those relationships never turned into ‘my forever’. The way he would respond to what I said or wanted was degrading and would make me feel stupid at times. I decided to write a post about a couple guys I’ve dated recently and what they said in different scenarios.

Here’s a list of all the things he’s said to me while we were dating:

 

The Bad

When he wouldn’t commit to spending time with me and my friends and I ignored his call:

“You are a child”

When I invited him to my birthday party two weeks in advance and he said he would come, then backed out the night of:

“You all pissy now”

When I told him I was over it (the first time)

“I know I f***** up.

But I’m ready to grow the f*** up and stop being that person to you.
I really am going to try and not being that total f*** up..”

When I said I didn’t see this working out:

“Trust me, I know this won’t really work. And I know 100% cause I feel like I don’t care.”

When I started not to care and had little effort:

“I hope you grow up”

When I stopped responding:

“I’ll f*** someone else

When I told him to stop sending me stupid, pointless snapchats:

“Someone’s pissy. Have fun doing nothing at work” 

When he accused me of cheating on him:

“I was blackout drunk

You never let me know that I made you happy. You never let me know you.”

 

Related Reading: Dating 101: 7 Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

 

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The Good

When I was gone on vacation for 5 days:

“I MISS YOU”

When he realized I was serious when I said I was done:

“I f***ed up

I’m ready to grow the f*** up

I just want to hold your hand.”

When I remembered his birthday and got him something:

“You are too nice to me”

After we met for the first time and he found me on Facebook:

“I thought you were really cute last night and had to remember to somehow get a hold of you”

When we were both home alone:

“Stay with me”

When we had “pillow talk”

“You’re so beautiful”

When we were driving to dinner

“How did I get so lucky”

 

 

After I Broke Up With Him:

 

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“I will only love you

You are what matters to me

I will do anything for you

You are the one I’m supposed to be with. 

I’m losing everything that matters to me.

You are my forever.”

 

Weeks after I broke up with him:

“I hope you know I care about you a lot

I will always love you

I’m sorry”

 

Those things made me feel good for a time, and like the good could outweigh the bad. Ultimately, I knew things wouldn’t be the same, and I was tired of being called crazy or a b****. So I made the decision to walk away. Turns out it was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but it was the right thing to do.

 

Related Reading: 3 Reasons to Love Being Single

 

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8 Comments

  • Reply Chantal

    Turning around and walking away is never really easy. But here’s the important part: that is when we grow stronger.

    PS: following you on IG and Pinterest as herprettybravesoul 🙂 so glad I found you!

    January 12, 2018 at 5:22 pm
    • Reply TwoFeelsWrite

      Thank you! I’m going to find you now to follow you back 🙂

      January 12, 2018 at 6:01 pm
  • Reply Emerson

    Good for you for getting out of that. I’ve been in a similar relationship where one side is all flowers and rainbows but the other is barbed wire (sorry for that atrocious metaphor lol). Despite the good being really good, and the love being really strong (for a while), it’s still an unhealthy relationship when the other person is making you feel like shit or gaslighting you. Thanks for sharing this post. I hope you are well 🙂

    January 12, 2018 at 5:37 pm
    • Reply TwoFeelsWrite

      Thank you for taking the time to read it! That’s some very real insight, I’m glad (ha word choice??) we can relate!

      January 12, 2018 at 6:03 pm
  • Reply Elise Ho

    It sounds as if you got out of a truly unhealthy relationship. Good for you! That is a hard thing to do and you did it.

    January 13, 2018 at 3:53 am
    • Reply TwoFeelsWrite

      Thank you. It was a lot harder and took longer than it should have, but I’m much happier now 🙂 I just hope other people can do the same if they’re in a similar position.

      January 14, 2018 at 2:23 am
  • Reply Teliah NaShonia

    Walking away from a toxic relationship that doesn’t benefit you or your growth is always hard when emotions are involved. It’s awesome to see that you had clear discernment to chose not to be a participant in that relationship. You’re awesome.

    January 16, 2018 at 7:36 pm
    • Reply TwoFeelsWrite

      Thank you! The only way I did it was with help from friends and family – key ingredients to knowing what’s good for you and what’s not! Thanks for reading!

      January 16, 2018 at 10:00 pm

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